Now and forever

We begin with life giving and we end with life taking. By taking away what was we appreciate what is. When a door closes, a window opens. But if the door never closed, would we ever open the window? Would we ever walk along the path we once castigated? An egg will prevail an egg, a bean will never become a beanstalk and dreams will never come true. So was the world painted with rainbows and butterflies to yield us with a drop of hope and a leap of faith? Or were dragons and knights a configuration of warning to tell us that life is a battle? Are dreams and nightmares worth anything if in the end we wake up and it all signifies nothing? To find that what was meant to be, what should be and what is were from opposite ends. Whichever it is, somehow we manage to find the bright light within the darkness. Just like the weather, comes rain comes shine. If you look in the right direction you will find what you’re looking for. But what would happen if the bright light weren’t what you surmised it to be? Should we be blind and feign not to see it or should we acquire what is and progress with what would be? Who will be there to tell say which is a door and which is a window? Which is a dream and which is a nightmare? Which is a butterfly and which is a dragon? Life is a perpetual marathon. Sometimes you have to stop and stare as the world elapses before you realize where you are and what you want. The journey through life stretches far beyond the finish line. Occasionally in order to take a step forward we have to take a step back. By doing this, would we be fall far behind others? Or will it be another turtle and rabbit case? We all strive for greatness and seek an ending. Days where we can sit back and reflect upon the past. Where memories form a future. The uncertain that led to possibilities. Once regret eclipsed gratitude where as lust dispersed what mattered most. People often say that happiness need not be pursued. So what about the recipe for happiness? Right time? Right place? Right moment? Right people? Do all these elements need seeking? The answer shall remain undisclosed. As for now, I shall build a future and construct a path that was once traveled by others. With this I may stumble upon the road less traveled.

Life & death

We can’t escape the past nor can we escape the present. What we can do is contemplate the future but by doing this we tend to forget to make the most out of each day. I can honestly say that out of 365 days, I only make full use of 65 days. Well, one being my birthday. So what happens to the other 300 days of my life? Those days have ceased to exist with much remorse. In order to plan our future, we dream. In other words, we live to dream and we dream to live. But how many of us really dream our future? What do we dream? From my observation, we are pretty much programmed to dream the future. Much more directed to perfection than left to stumble upon the unexpected, an ending. If my mind didn’t favor the existence of my left brain, would I still “dream” of a degree? Would I actually consider a job to be my life long dream? Just by uttering the words ‘ I am taking 2 to 3 years away from studying’, I have contended with many different reactions. Some question why and some may even condemn my act. What I see is (in the words of my mum) the world is my oyster. Some choose to swallow, some choose to preserve and some choose to use the ability and freedom to concoct a pearl. As for me, a degree is not my main priority in life. It’s the experience of life that I treasure. So, why would I rush into taking a degree without knowing what lies ahead of me and without knowing what other options I posses. Don’t I worry about age? Well, a degree would only take 4 to 5 years to complete and the path is pretty much established. Would I rather take 3 years to commit myself to a gradation or contrite the next 20 to 30 years of my life? I do not cast aspersions upon the decision of others but we accomplish what we espouse and we espouse what we accomplish. There is no qualm that I may fall but by falling I may attain the unforeseen. The days that lie ahead of me will not be facile. I may cry, I may break down but I shall not let go. When we sense death around the corner, that’s when we know that we’re alive and what used to be is merely a fantasy. By sensing death, we appreciate life and the only abscond from life is death itself. How many of us can deflect with irony and return without malice? What many of us would rather do is gait away and never return. We allow the past to be preserved as memories and the future shall remain a dream. Where as death kills everything.

struck by current change

Change. A word that refers to an alteration. However, often the word is interpreted as making a difference, in other words to abolish what is there in order to create something new. Therefore, when a person says I choose to make a change. Does it mean I want to alter the structure in order to build a mansion but still cherish the history or does it mean I want to abolish what was, what it portrays and rewrite history my own way? Is it possible to change without making an alteration or a difference? With this, the answer is not for me to say but change speaks for itself. What we all seek is the result of that change. As humans, change is not always greeted with a big hug. We all agree to disagree, we all deny the facts and we all avoid facing the truth. Whether it is a life change, status change or even sex change, changes take place with a blink of an eye. What takes a life time is the acceptance of a change. The term dyke was first printed in the year 1920’s where as the term gay was used in 1929 to imply homosexuality and the first country to introduce marriage of the same sex was Netherlands in the year 2001. With in approximately 80 years, changes took place but until today, almost 100 years later, the acceptance is still very misty. Like wise, in the early years, women were merely objects that wore corsets and fancy dresses where their obligation was their duty as a daughter, wife and mother not as an individual. Society today says women and men should be treated equally. Even the law today is altered in a way that women are protected from being discriminated in every aspect of life. However, the question is how many men can accept being dominated by a woman? Though the words may not be spoken but every man desires a wife who stays at home and gives up her job once they get married. Many may object to this statement but it is a fact of life. How many couples do you know that the person wearing the pants is the wife? No matter what the change is, its all about how change has affected you and where you place yourself within that change. The decision of making a change may not be easy but we all have to take that step. As for me, I decided to leave home. With simple words, many have cried with me but somehow there was a reason to smile, laugh and even just stare at each other in the eyes. For a moment I actually felt that my life was in perfect order. Everything I ever wanted was there for me and surprisingly I felt comfortable. I often question myself, why did Leonardo Da Vinci paint Mona Lisa and why do people find the painting so fascinating? Is it because he finds her beautiful or is it because he was paid to do so? As I look deep into the art, I realize that Mona Lisa portrays many of us. With eyes that symbolizes a combination of both fear and sadness, a smile that somehow found its way into the picture and hands that rest so comfortably, Mona Lisa has now inspired me in so many ways. How she managed to gather these four senses I may not know, what lies beyond the smile, I can’t say but if she can smile so can I. For now, everything has come as a shock to me, including the weather. However, I am currently searching for myself within these changes, seeking for the sense of belonging.

open road

Taking off from my comfort zone and touching down in the land of possibilities was the journey I took to pursuit my dreams. Never an easy decision nor is it an easy route. To leave behind both love and hate, to walk away from memories, to begin the unknown and to unveil my path, I find myself landed in the land of sudoku and ipods where I hope to inspire myself to touch cloud 9. After a long flight and a backache, I managed to find the strength within to carry on but keeping in mind that with each right decision I make, people will always await the wrong one as with each right step comes a left. With every step I take, both tears and fear falls upon me. In a place where my name shall be hard for the first time but shall be remembered for a lifetime, I build a future from strength and confidence. To say I don’t miss home is a lie, to say I don’t cry is an even bigger lie but to say I use each tear to defeat fear is the truth. Pictures are worth a thousand words. For me its worth more than words, its worth a lifetime. Each of us seek the future, each of us dream of the future and each of us chase the future. We all remember the past, we all regret the past and we all learn from the past. We all go through many and different paths of life, each path may have its own flaw. However, when one path collides with another, a purpose of life shall arise. For now, I do not know where my path is headed nor I do not expect anything to be easy but I do hope there will be an outcome of it all. The occurrence of a warm breeze would hoist me off the ground. With this, the support and encouragement given is much appreciated. As I switch my gear to reverse mode, I realize that I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for those who have inspired me in so many ways. Either my family, my friends or even those of the unknown, the only words that comes to mind is thank you. These inspiration comes in many different forms, sometimes by acts and sometimes in words. Either by risking yourself for the sake of others, by boarding a plane that is headed to a foreign land (several times), by tolerating an act for the sake of love or by taking charge to stand for what is right. All this has made its way to become a part of me…Aliyah Rashid.




in this world,this journey, nobody it alone

diploma vs a-levels

the complicated system of education that even the educated confuse themselves. Is there any use going through the whole system when at the end of the day all you want is money,time and family for some.
Note: click the title to view link

memories

true or false

Words that frequently ring in my ear, “study, work hard, have a job and you will be happy”. These words are usually uttered by those who are aged, not old, but aged. The reason I listen to them, with age comes wisdom, so I thought. But how many of us know people who work, possess a family, earn money, may not be rich and are actually satisfied with what they have without a single iota of wanting more. As far as I know, people think of quitting their job as frequent as me thinking where am I headed next. Surprised? Well, I shall greet you with a warm welcome to the real world. When the words above retire from a persons mouth, what the brain considers is that its what’s best for the other persons ears but what the true heart’s desire is actually time and money. Have the words above just blind folded the youth by placing a fogged fantasy upon ones mind. If so, has going to school and studying fulfilled its purpose as all we want is time and money, not a job. We all know that school is no where near our second home, if it was, my home would just be hell. However, if I didn’t go to school, I shall not be the person I am today. To encounter teachers is not a burden but to disregard their words is an achievement. With this I thank those who have made my life at school a true journey. Why? Ask yourself , are you actually virtuous from verbal castigation, either from teachers, family or even friends. I know for sure verbal abuse has been my daily routine. Again, surprised? Its either about your results, how come others can do what you can’t and getting punished for some obtuse reason. What we really have to realize is that we are all individuals. Which means everybody obtains a right to posses a character of their own. I didn’t go to school to become what others already are. I went to school to find the person within me, to seek the gift and not the flaw. When we find ourselves strayed we tend to seek guidance from others. So, we look for those who seem to have the acquaintance and the know-hows to provide you with such needs. However, how many of us took the advice given by others all because you think they so called ‘know what’s best’ for you. How many of these ‘advice’ that has been given, taken and ended up being wrong. Taking this point into action, I soon realize that humans were made in such a way that all we do is think of ourselves. People go through many different courses of action and resolution just to acquire gratification. How people say they lied or kept it a secret to “protect” you. If this is how a person defines ‘protection’, I shall wonder how they may define love. More lies and more secrets? If the world language was to be love, then I shall say we will all end up getting hurt by love itself. However, I believe that love may hurt but it may also cure. As we try to be human beings just by being humans , love is more likely to hurt than to cure. Although I may be backed up by my family and friends, I shall always stand alone in this battle I call life and to survive this life, I shall stand on nobody’s ground but my own. When I encounter a person smiling, I shall always remember that ‘there’s daggers in men’s smile’ and if I ever contend with a person sniveling, I shall always remember that everybody has the ability to turn a frown upside down. Life is life but you can always turn it out to be what you want it to be, it lies no where beyond your palm. Its always about you…